


The day sunshine died

by Thepresidentofrussia23



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Character Bleed, Character Death, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Gun Violence, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23191315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thepresidentofrussia23/pseuds/Thepresidentofrussia23
Summary: A bullet, its a single piece of metal, smaller than a fingernail and yet can end lives in an instant. The life of Dominick 'Sonny' Carisi has been erased into nothingness, all is legacy is in the memory of the grief stricken SVU team as they grieve for the star that has gone supernova. His legacy will shine on in Mike Dodds's memories and pain as he tries to move on. This is the Special Victim Unit's story of loss, grief and redemption
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Mike Dodds
Comments: 12
Kudos: 12





	1. Blood drops of the sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Qui3tlyR3ading](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qui3tlyR3ading/gifts).



Love is poison, love is death in a sense, it breaks and it heals and it is a contradictory force in of itself and yet, we still as the human race, dabble in its forbidden desires and we still hope that somehow...we will find love, that someday, we will meet the perfect one and yet the search is long and arduous and that is how the stories of our lives often go. Our lives are imperfect, messy and often dangerous....  
Sonny remembered as a young child being taught to be faithful and loyal to God and He would do him no wrong, and yet Carisi felt like the opposite of that often happened, his life was a bit of a normal one compared to the SVU squad, he was not abused or beaten...but sadly he had been bullied and raped by a bully and he refused to name names to the principal and in the end, that rapist ended up stabbing someone to death and was currently serving life in prison for murder one in Sing Sing, all because of him being silent, he carried that guilt everywhere he went, this was a guilt that burdened him like a cold, heavy, hard rock and it was chained firmly to his heart as he tried remaining strong in the face of difficult decisions and painful regrets and the lives he had lost because in the end after all, we can't save them all no matter how we try.   
Michael Dodds was raised under an overbearing household, a father who was a divorcee and was tightly closeted about his own sexuality, just as Mike was, both men knew and feared of their secrets spilling out and breaking the other man. Mike was bisexual and someone who knew that the real world was unaccepting of his sexuality, because he was attracted towards men and women and the fact was, his sexuality was blamed for spreading diseases and accused of promiscuousness. He hated the people that tried to make friends with him despite not wanting to interact with anybody and it deeply made him uncomfortable to try and socialize because people only wanted to chatter to him because of his famous father, William Dodds who was promoted to Police Chief and not because he was Mike Dodds and it made him resent his last name so much that he silently tried to cut off all ties with his own father, and the fact that his father made him become an SVU cop, it infuriated him so much because what he dealt with there, it was horrendous on a level he had never seen in Robbery or even in Organized Crime and that broke his soul into a thousand shiny fragments that could never be put together again. He could see the tear streaked victims and the angry and defiant perpetrators, many victims were furious and had a right to be, others reacted with depression right in front of him. Mike did what he could to support them all, as each case required.  
Both Mike and Sonny both met and were partnered up together as a team and they tried to ignore their tension and the romantic tension that was boiling between them, they one day decided to drink coffee at Starbucks while on break and Sonny accidently placed his hand on Mike's hand and both men blushed and looked down, this sure as hell was not part of the five year plan to success and Mike didn't give a damn either way, Sonny was perfect looking, if not angelic, even with wide, surprised blue eyes that gave his shock away on how surprised he was to hold the Chief's son's hand and yet, here he was, holding Mike's hand and they both were madly in love, a love that was never meant to be and yet happened beyond all control


	2. Sorrow is like a river that rages on

Sonny and Mike and Barba soon moved in together, their romance building and growing day by day, they bought a California King mattress because they couldn't fit all three together in a King mattress so they all moved in and the apartment was nice and large in the center of Manhattan and they had a nice view of the city and would often eat dinners on the balcony and enjoyed the sunsets shining on the windows and they held hands while walking through Grand Central park and they finally disclosed to 1PP and to One Hogan Place that they were in a relationship and Olivia Benson was so happy that they had found love together and they were able to manage their work and their relationship together.   
These three were eventually engaged and were in a unspoken agreement that they were married and it brought them all joy to be with each other forever, but Sonny and Mike were constantly sent on dangerous missions and that worried Barba constantly as he waited at 1PP or at home helplessly hoping that they would come home safely into his arms and he hoped that they were unhurt. The day Sonny had been beaten with a baseball bat while undercover as a sexual predator in a homeless shelter to find the rapist of a girl. The father of the girl had beaten him, thinking he was the rapist and he ended up bruised and shaken and in pain, and then there was the time he was pistol whipped and lost consciousness in the arms of Detective Tutuloa, each time he was hurt, they babied him and protectively watched over him like hawks, refusing to let him do anything.  
Sonny was to help a woman who had been caught in the middle of a domestic violence situation and Sonny was going with Captain Benson to the house to help save her when he entered the house and Benson went around the back as he headed up the stairs and through the foyer and pulled aside the plastic sheet that divided up the foyer and he saw the woman had been tied to the wooden post and her mouth was gagged and she was trying to say something to him and as he turned around, he saw the gun held to his forehead as he pleaded   
"It doesn't have to end this way, I'm a cop, just like you."  
And the man fired his pistol and everything went dark for Sonny as his knees crumpled beneath him and Olivia killed the killer.


	3. Scream of loss, scream of grief

Olivia watched Sonny crumple down as she pulled the trigger on the gun and killed Tom Cole, except...she didn't make it in time, she couldn't save the beautiful sunshine, whose light shone and exposed and defeated the darkness each and everyday, she couldn't save Sonny Carisi Jr and he lay there, the blood puddling around his head and his baby blue eyes staring lifelessly into the ceiling, his pupils were unfocused and his cheeks were pale and lips were paper white, his pulse had stopped the moment the bullet had shredded through his skull and brain and his soul had broken free of his body.   
Olivia quickly ran over and cut the woman free and held her as she sobbed and comforted her as she tried to not cry for the dead Detective whose dreams of becoming a Captain would never materialize, he would never have the chance to become a father or hold his own son in his arms ever, she helped the woman in the squad car for precautionary purposes and told her firmly but kindly:  
"Promise me that whatever you do, you will not blame yourself for this, Sonny knew what he was getting himself into, don't let his death be in vain please. Don't let the world steal your light. You have this light in you, promise me that they won't take it from you..."  
The woman nodded and smiled wearily as she held the jacket close to herself as Benson watched Sonny's body get put in a black, plastic body bag, his body was as white as a sheet and the blood was beginning to dry on the back of his head as they lay him in and the medic advised her  
"You may not want to be here for this."  
Olivia said   
"I have to be here. I failed him. I have to do this."  
And she watched in stunned silence as they zipped up the body bag and hauled his body away and wrapped it in a yellow plastic sheet that crunched as they strapped the body down with the belts. Olivia saluted him, sobbing  
"Dominick Sonny Carisi Jr, rest in peace."   
And she lowered her arm and realized, this was just the beginning of her pain, letting Dodds and Barba know was going to be a thousand times worse.   
Meanwhile, Nick Amaro, Mike Dodds, Rafael Barba, Fin Tutuola, Amanda Rollins and Peter Stone all were sitting down when William Dodds delivered the bad news to them all and Mike screamed in agony, howling in misery in Barba's arms, even the Police Chief himself wanted to sob and scream and cry and hold his son tightly for dear life and he held him closely, his sons tears wetting his jacket and yet he didn't even care, all he knew was that his son needed comfort and he needed it so desperately.   
Barba ran to the bathroom and started throwing up and sobbing, his tears streaming down his face as his chest heaved with unrestrained sobbing, he couldn't control his grief or his sadness and it was destroying him deep inside, knowing that Sonny would never again open his eyes or speak in his entire life and that hurt him so deeply knowing he was alone forever with Mike Dodds and he hadn't gotten the chance to tell Sonny he was having a baby, and now he and Mike were left on their own to raise it.


	4. In Memoriam

The tears, they flow, the hearts are broken, and all they can do, all they can do is weep for all those departed, but those that are dead, they are asleep, they cannot hear, they cannot see, for they are the dearly departed, for they have fled the very bane of their existence, they have left us in our sorrow to drown, oh the tears, they flow, they flow on before us, they carry our hearts away from us all, but they cannot take away our will! They cannot take away our strength! They cannot take away the love that makes us who we are in the end. Oh so many lights, they cast a deep, deep shadow, shall I speak? Shall I remain silent? Shall I hope for more? All I know is that I walk a road of glass, all I know is that my tears, they mock my pain and so do you.   
Mike felt his tears run all over his face as he sobbed with Barba as they cradled his baby bump, struggling with the fact that they had a funeral to attend and it was so difficult to deal with that sort of pain when pregnant, Barba was in no shape to attend the funeral due to the doctor being worried that he might be at risk of losing the baby due to extreme amounts of stress and the fact that he needed to rest, that part was especially stressed to Barba so that no complications would arise from the pregnancy.  
Mike watched as they carried the coffin inside the church, he hated the bag pipes so much, he hated the formality and he hated the scratchy uniform he was wearing and he HATED the speeches so much, and he hated the goddamn decorum, and he hated the rituals including the goddamn flowers, he wanted to burn everything in sight and laugh like a goddamn maniac, he wanted to get the bloody hell out of here, but he knew his baby needed him so much, so he just remained seated in the goddamn pew and watched the whole shitshow play itself out in front of him as he sighed and drank a glass of water and then another before sobbing on his father's shoulder and then he cried and cried his heart out, but who was going to blame him anyway? He watched as they carried the coffin to the hearse and then he rode with his father, sobbing, unable to speak, for grief carries no language, no words, it is felt by all one way or another and right now, Mike felt as though his grief was isolating him from everyone, his pain was attacking him in everyway that he could think of, mentally and emotionally as well as physically and even William could see that his son was not sleeping well and he was worried, he had every right to be worried for the son that he brought into the world after all.   
Mike and William watched with the others while the flag was folded and handed to Mike as he cried and cried his heart out, the baby would never get to see their father or the loving sunshine that he had, there were countless things that Mike could list that Sonny would never be able to do again, he had died in courage and bravery for all that he stood for and that was all that he hoped to become as well.


End file.
